”I was standing in the middle of a circle of men, all part of our Quest I. I had to fight myself a way outside. It was a physical fight, but symbolised the inner struggle I had to fight for more inner freedom” says Rami about how he fought the fights within him with the help of KingsMen. Fighting his inner battle was a choice he made a few years back by living and working in Canada. He left Canada for a sabbatical leave during which he did a relecture of his life and volunteering in France. He learned about KingsMen during a spiritual retreat in France.
We all have to face our inner struggle
”I believe we all have an inner struggle to fight. And for me that wasn’t easy. I grew up without my dad and I had to take lots of responsability as a child for my family. During my sabbatical leave in France, I found time and space to work on my inner struggles of missing a dad as a child and other wounds from my past.”
Space and time for struggle
KingsMen was a great way for me to feel more free inside. The physical challenges, together with other men… it all helped me to really work on my own struggles. One of the things that really helped me was the question for action within 72 hours of Quest 1. I decided to do two things.
First, I told my girlfriend everything about my past. The good, the dark, I just came clean. I was completely honest, even though I knew it could be too much for her. My reasoning was : I’ll do my best by saying the truth and God will do the rest. That really happened. It was a difficult period of our relation, but it bared fruit as today she is my wife! I did one step, but God did a thousand more for me.
The second thing I did was asking my dad to bless me and telling him my affection despite everything that happenned in the past. I didn’t see him for 22 years, we reconciled in 2018 after many years of inside work for forgiveness. But even after 2018, I still had anger against him, I felt I had to choose forgivness again and again. So I went see him after KM Quest 1 retreat, I asked for his forgiveness and blessing. It really changed something in my heart of son and man. It changed the way I saw my father. And that, for me, is the beauty of KingsMen, it gave me time and space to see where my struggles are, to reflect on who I am and what I can do differently for more inner freedom.
Your own weakness as a strength
I fought another battle when I did my Quest 2 at Canigou mountain. I often compared myself with others and came to the conclusion I wasn’t as physically strong as them, but weak and always reflecting on myself, at what I don’t have in that aspect. Until one of the Kingsmen participant said to me when we were climbing the mountain: “You don’t need to be sporty or strong, you have more strength than all of us : because you have a strength to be vulnerable in front of others and this requires lots of courage. We’re learning from you. You can handle this”
This encouragement gave me self confidence and made me realize that I was seeing this as a weakness of myself, but it turned out to be one of my strongest side: vulnerability. A strength that I can rely on and use in my daily life. ” Rami signs as we round off our conversation. “I will always climb mountains, especially together with other men. It’s simple, direct and a great way to fight my inner batlles for more inner freedom.”
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