‘I was one of those men who had it all: a beautiful wife, nice kids, friends, a job… but still I was searching for more. I searched in the wrong places, which almost ended my marriage. I had an alcohol addiction and an unexplainable anger in me.’ says Mark, a 40 year old Dutch guy, married for over 16 years and father to four amazing children.
Vulnerability as a strength
‘I met Jeroen, who invited me to go to Canigou to hike with a small group of men. He confronted us as men with our vulnerability and showed how vulnerability is much stronger than being the tough guy or thinking you are mister perfect. We were in the mountains, just with 12 other men and we came closer to ourselves and each other. It showed me I can be vulnerable, one of the first eyeopeners KingsMen has given to me.’
Identity and friendship
Mark got into a huge fight with his wife when he got back home. ‘I couldn’t control my anger and she was afraid of me, so she called two of my friends. They came to the house, also afraid of my anger… but still, they came! When they arrived I wasn’t able to talk and wanted to kick them out. They stayed, calmed me down and one of them took me in for a couple of days. My wife couldn’t handle me at home, so we seperated for seven months. My friends helped me with a plan to get out of this anger. I would have been divorced by now if it wasn’t for their help! It really saved my marriage and gave me my real identity. I stopped hiding behind my mask.’
‘My friends became like brothers to me, which is funny because I am an only child. It also taught me that I don’t need lots of friends, but just to put effort into the friendships I have. It gave me so much. They kept me going, kept me focused and sharp and helped me move forward, so I could also be a friend to them. My experience with KingsMen made me a better husband to my wife and far better father to my kids. Their compliments of me growing are the best feeling ever.’
This is what KingsMen has done for me, and still does. Join us, we are waiting for you!’
Mark Beijaard – The Netherlands